The Love and Abuse Podcast
The show about navigating the difficult relationship. From minor arguments to manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive behaviors.
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The Love and Abuse Podcast: A show about poisonous communication, toxic behavior, emotional abuse and manipulation
Emotional abuse, manipulative communication, and lies and deception are so prevalent in the world today that it’s almost impossible to go through life
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Emotional abuse, manipulative communication, and lies and deception are so prevalent in the world today that it’s almost impossible to go through life […]
February 7, 2019
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Have you ever spotted a red flag and held your tongue? When you catch a glimpse of deception or manipulation, are you quick […]
February 8, 2019
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When someone cares about you, they don’t say things like “you’re too sensitive” or “you’re so emotional”, they actually become more sensitive to […]
February 12, 2019
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You can be “groomed” into becoming the victim of emotional abuse or manipulation. Just like a child predator will groom his or her […]
February 15, 2019
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Do you think you are the person causing the problems in your relationship? Is your partner or family right about what they said […]
February 18, 2019
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Do you spend all your energy defending yourself with certain people? Is it impossible to get anywhere with them because they continue to […]
February 19, 2019
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When you can’t see the symptoms of manipulation or emotional abuse, do either actually exist? Is there a way to tell when you’re […]
February 27, 2019
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If you’ve ever wondered why someone could be so cruel, it’s time to accept that selfish people just don’t care about you. Selfish […]
March 1, 2019
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It takes two humble people to work at the relationship, not one that’s always blaming the other. When one person is always blaming […]
March 3, 2019
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Have you ever sat there feeling confused, frustrated or running out of patience listening to someone talk and talk? There is actually a […]
March 6, 2019
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Gaslighting and crazymaking are one in the same – they are both terms to describe a person that wants you to feel like […]
March 11, 2019
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Some people have a strange way of showing they care by sending you small messages out of the blue to get you to […]
March 12, 2019
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Would you know if you were being manipulated? Do you know what to look for? Manipulative people are experts are toxic language to […]
March 13, 2019
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How do you tell friends and family about the emotional abuse from the narcissist when they don’t see that behavior in them at […]
March 15, 2019
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We are often told that we can choose how to feel and that no one can actually control us. However, in emotional abuse […]
March 23, 2019
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When you are kind, generous and caring, and you get controlling and manipulative behavior in return, you may be the very cause of […]
March 27, 2019
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Many emotional abuse victims believe they are at fault for the abuse, as if there is behavior they did to bring it on. […]
April 10, 2019
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Sometimes a conversation with a certain person always seems to lead down a path of misery. You end up feeling bad and can’t […]
April 22, 2019
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Are you waiting for someone else to change so that you can get what you want? In this episode, I talk about an […]
April 23, 2019
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Isolation occurs when someone wants to keep you from your friends, family, and support structures. You will become more dependent on the one […]
May 6, 2019
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The actor in the relationship can fool the best of us. When you can’t tell what’s an act and what’s real, you soon […]
May 17, 2019
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When the partner of a cheater carries guilt, thinking their own behavior caused the cheating, the relationship can disintegrate even further, destroying the […]
May 24, 2019
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When someone in your life claims to have changed and promises to stop behaving badly, have they truly changed, or are they just […]
May 27, 2019
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It can be a challenge to see the signs of toxic behavior when you first start dating someone, especially if things seem to […]
May 29, 2019
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Judgment is the ultimate relationship destroyer. It is the key to creating a rift so wide that the relationship issues might get to […]
June 17, 2019
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Trying to work as hard as you can to fix things you didn’t break is exhausting and demoralizing. The first step to healing […]
July 10, 2019
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When you’re in the thick of a toxic relationship, all you can see is a dark future with no way out. This skewed […]
July 16, 2019
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Emotional abuse victims have a very difficult time trying to explain what’s happening to them to their friends and family. Often, loving, supportive […]
August 4, 2019
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Emotional abusers can make you feel crazy. They will convince you you’ve said things you didn’t say, they’ll remind you about conversations you’ve […]
August 7, 2019
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When you are in love with the person mistreating you, is there a way to improve the relationship? Can you make them understand […]
September 4, 2019
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Confronting the ultimate manipulation in a relationship, the threat of suicide is a very troubling and often abusive tactic. It’s a scenario that […]
September 25, 2019
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The smear campaign is a card often played by narcissists, sociopaths, and other emotional abusers to make you look like the bad guy. […]
October 9, 2019
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After months or years of being emotionally abused, you may find yourself doing behavior that resembles the same type of behavior you’re a […]
October 15, 2019
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When someone shows you every single red flag you need to determine there is lying, control, and manipulation going on, at what point […]
October 25, 2019
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When you hurt someone you love, you’re letting them know that they are not that important in your life. After all, why would […]
November 5, 2019
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If you’ve ever wondered why you felt a connection with someone that turned out to be controlling and manipulative, you were probably manipulated […]
November 16, 2019
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Some people have a clever way of making you feel bad about yourself by complimenting you and using positive, supportive words that make […]
November 21, 2019
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Should you love more, do more, or be more for another person who never seems to be happy? One method of control is […]
November 27, 2019
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Emotional abuse and controlling, manipulative behavior have no place in a relationship. Whether it’s romantic or with a family member or friend, the […]
December 12, 2019
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There’s something that family, coworkers, friends, and even romantic partners can all have a common: They can sometimes be difficult to talk to. […]
December 31, 2019
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Manipulation originates with the desire to have something and doing anything you can to get it. The extent that some people will go […]
January 14, 2020
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Why don’t hurtful people stop hurting? Can the emotional abuser or controlling / manipulative person change? Can your relationship with them be saved? […]
January 30, 2020
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When you are triggered by your Facebook friends: Staying out of abusive interactions on social media
If you’ve never gotten triggered by someone’s post on social media, you may be one of the lucky few. It’s those times you […]
February 6, 2020
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When the trust breaks and there is no love left in the relationship, but the emotional abuse stops, is there a chance for […]
February 12, 2020
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The Turn-Around game: How emotionally abusive people keep you busy explaining and defending yourself
Why does it always seem like you have to constantly explain or defend yourself with certain people? Are you just not coming through […]
February 29, 2020
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Sometimes you just can’t figure out if perhaps what you’re experiencing is abusive or manipulative behavior. You may even think perhaps you’re overreacting […]
March 24, 2020
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Do boundaries work with emotional abusers? I received this question from someone who has tried almost everything to work with her emotionally abusive […]
April 3, 2020
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Sometimes emotional abuse in adult relationships is the result of childhood trauma, neglect, or abuse. Sometimes it’s the result of the other person […]
April 15, 2020
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If someone hurt you, abused you, or wronged you in some way and you’re still holding on to upset or anger toward them, […]
May 7, 2020
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There is a direct cause and effect when you are exposed to manipulative and controlling behavior. It can take a physical toll on […]
May 22, 2020
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We can spend so much time hoping the other person will change so that our life will be better, but we end up […]
June 4, 2020
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When the toxic relationship has worn you down, taken away your ability to think clearly, and chiseled away at your confidence and mental […]
June 16, 2020
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What happens when you create a show about abusive behavior? You hear from people that aren’t happy that they are being called out […]
June 25, 2020
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Every now and then someone you care about makes a mistake and says or does something to make you feel bad. These one-offs […]
July 1, 2020
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< Simple incompatibilities are common in relationships, but what happens when they lead to emotionally abusive behavior? In this episode, I talk about […]
July 18, 2020
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Gaslighting, or “crazymaking” is one of the more insidious forms of emotional abuse. Those that do and say things to make you feel […]
August 6, 2020
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There are times when you want to share what you learn on this show with an abusive person, but is it the right […]
August 16, 2020
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When you’ve been mistreated for so long, you may begin to feel less worthy of love and affection. You might actually start to […]
August 28, 2020
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The first important point in a growing argument might be the most important one that gets glossed over. When that happens, the person […]
September 4, 2020
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What is one of the most effective forms of emotional abuse? When the abusive person takes everything that empowers you away from you. […]
September 10, 2020
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One of the constants in emotionally abusive relationships is when the victim tries to please an unpleasable person. No matter what they do […]
September 30, 2020
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Dealing with a manipulative and controlling relationship is bad enough, but what happens when the person doing the bad behavior is also dealing […]
October 19, 2020
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There’s a point of either intoleration or breakdown that you sometimes have to reach in order to finally make a decision that you […]
November 4, 2020
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You’ve tried talking with them, expressing your hurt or unhappiness, but they still don’t seem to want to change their behavior. If you’ve […]
November 21, 2020
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The very core of who you are is what can get compromised when you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. That’s why many […]
December 10, 2020
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A mom wrote to me and said that she is blaming herself for not doing the right job parenting her abusive son. Guilt […]
December 30, 2020
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Emotional abuse has an insidious way of disintegrating the very core of who you are. It’s a process that can turn you into […]
January 10, 2021
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Some hurtful behavior can have a secondary benefit to the person hurting you. Some behaviors can cause you to react in such a […]
February 3, 2021
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Months can seem like an eternity when you’re in a toxic relationship, but what about years? Can you not only survive a relationship […]
February 17, 2021
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Sometimes it helps to know what to look for in your relationship and how a relationship is supposed to look when you just […]
March 11, 2021
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“Am I the abuser?” It’s a question I get a lot. In this article, I’ll share what reactive abuse is and how you […]
March 18, 2021
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When a relationship is difficult, it’s helpful to have an established baseline of acceptable behavior. If you don’t know what is acceptable and […]
April 15, 2021
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Sometimes in an emotionally abusive relationship, you have a big decision to make. That decision may be to leave, or perhaps you want […]
April 15, 2021
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If you’ve considered leaving an emotionally abusive person but guilt has stopped you from making the exit, make sure that guilt is justified […]
April 30, 2021
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When you’re around those who always put you down with hurtful words or threats that they’ll never talk to you again, but they […]
May 19, 2021
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There’s a point when there has been enough abusive behavior where you decide you’re no longer going to stand for it and it’s […]
June 11, 2021
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The two sides of emotional abuse are the perpetrator and the victim. Sometimes the victim can’t tell if there’s abusive behavior or just […]
June 17, 2021
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Some people become highly defensive or offensive when they want to hide something from you, or lie to you, or don’t want to […]
July 11, 2021
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If you told a “normal” person they were being emotionally abusive, you’d think they’d back off and re-evaluate their behavior. After all, people […]
July 11, 2021
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Every wonderful aspect of you can diminish when you are with a toxic person. They find ways to convince you that you are […]
July 30, 2021
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Emotional abuse in any relationship is made up of numerous behaviors, many of which can be quite hard to detect. When you’re trying […]
September 17, 2021
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What happens when you’ve had enough of the bad behavior and want the other person to leave you alone? In a family situation, […]
September 24, 2021
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Emotionally abusive people usually drain all of your energy. It’s rare that they leave the relationship because they get their power from taking […]
October 10, 2021
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What happens when the hurtful behavior stops and you are free to be yourself? Does the relationship now go back to normal like […]
October 15, 2021
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How bad does it have to get before you’re convinced that the person you’re dealing with is never, ever going to change? And […]
October 22, 2021
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When you’ve had enough and you can’t take anymore, but you stay and take more, you end up in an endless cycle of […]
November 4, 2021
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When you’re in any type of difficult or emotionally abusive relationship, a violation of your relationship boundaries has probably already taken place. After […]
November 14, 2021
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What’s the best course of action when it comes to leaving the emotional abuser? Should you sit them down and have the “the […]
December 1, 2021
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It’s hard enough dealing with a hurtful person. You know they are going to show up in a certain way almost every time […]
December 25, 2021
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Needy and clingy people can become obsessive and emotionally abusive. They will find ways to keep tabs on you so that they are […]
January 5, 2022
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You are not to blame for getting into a toxic relationship. It is not your fault. However, there is a way you process […]
January 24, 2022
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How can you respond or react in the most concise, clear and healthy way so that their annoyance or frustration with you doesn’t […]
February 6, 2022
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Sometimes the emotional abuse stops. If and when it does, will you know who you are? Do you know where you went? Sometimes […]
March 2, 2022
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Some abusive people know exactly how to lock you into the relationship so tight that you find it near impossible to get out […]
March 10, 2022
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There can be some good excuses for hurtful behavior. With some excuses, it can be hard to differentiate between fact and fiction. When […]
April 20, 2022
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Becoming dependent on someone can put you at their mercy sometimes. And if they are toxic, you are not only now dependent on […]
July 5, 2022
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Why do we return to toxic people over and over again? It’s certainly not because we love to suffer. But maybe there’s more […]
August 5, 2022
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The person that hurts the one they love can do the behavior indefinitely unless someone is there to stop it. Usually, that someone […]
December 7, 2022
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The emotionally abusive relationship can be a battle. In fact, it can be a series of battles that wear you down and eventually […]
December 23, 2022
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Why can’t they just change? Why don’t they just stop hurting you? Sometimes they’ve built such a huge wall of protection around themselves […]
January 29, 2023
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I get messages from those who are with someone who claims to have changed, but something doesn’t feel right to them. What they […]
February 17, 2023
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Your religious or spiritual beliefs are supposed to help uplift and inspire you, not make you feel oppressed and exhausted. Religious abuse happens […]
March 31, 2023
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Dealing with a hurtful person is often hard enough. When your partner has hurtful parents, however, it gets even harder, especially when you […]
May 5, 2023
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Why do people who claim to care about us hurt us when they see that we’re suffering? Shouldn’t our suffering be enough for […]
July 1, 2023
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I recently received an insightful message from a listener who is on a journey to heal from emotionally abusive behaviors. This person expressed […]
July 28, 2023
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The cycle of high ups and deep downs in a relationship is like being trapped in an emotional prison. There are moments of […]
August 6, 2023
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What would happen if you decided to write them a loving, supportive letter outlining all of their hurtful behaviors in hopes they’ll read […]
September 7, 2023
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The language you use to describe your relationship and how you’re getting along with the other person says a lot. If you’ve ever […]
September 7, 2023
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The thought of breaking up or separating from a toxic person can be a difficult decision to make. But taking a break before […]
October 13, 2023
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In this article, I’m going to help you recognize the signs that indicate a relationship may be beyond repair. There comes a point […]
November 3, 2023
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The emotionally abusive person can have a traumatic past. Their abusive behaviors can have an abusive origin. Is it better to help the […]
November 6, 2023
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The core principle of everything I teach hinges on the importance of self-respect. I believe self-respect is the most crucial form of nurturing […]
November 23, 2023
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When the emotionally abusive person goes silent in order to make you feel guilty and give them the attention they want, do they […]
December 6, 2023
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It can be hard to draw a line in a toxic relationship. Don’t make your emotional resilience a prison of your own making. […]
January 14, 2024
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Sometimes, you can’t see the red flags before you’re hurt. Emotional abuse can be like an infection that enters your body. You may […]
February 14, 2024
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When you reach your breaking point with someone, you might make the decision to leave. During that time, you can regain your confidence […]
February 28, 2024
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There’s a clever manipulation that can happen in some emotionally abusive relationships. It starts with superficial kindness and vague promises and leads to […]
March 2, 2024
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Some emotionally abusive people don’t change, no matter how much the victim of their hurtful behavior changes for them. Is there ever a […]
March 28, 2024
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Victims of emotional abuse can experience physical pain from all the trauma, potentially leading to increased tolerance and resilience to harm. They can […]
March 28, 2024
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You give, you adapt, and you change who you are almost to your very core… to what end? When you are overly compassionate […]
April 22, 2024
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The podcasts, books, and workbook have been so helpful in my healing process. I am still learning from, working with them and share at every appropriate opportunity… I can live a life now.”
J.L.
*All content on this site and in the podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of a medical or psychological professional before making any changes that could affect your physical or mental health.