I get quite a few messages from those who’ve learned that they are the emotionally abusive person in the relationship.
Fortunately, the only time I get messages from people like this is when they want to know how they can change. I never get messages from those telling me they know they are abusive and don’t care.
If you consider yourself an emotionally abusive person or have been told you are doing emotionally abusive behavior, first of all, give yourself some credit for even reading something like this. After all, the fact that you’re here means you know something needs to change.
I learned about my own abusive behavior very late in life and lost every relationship because of it. After my marriage ended, I knew I had to change or I would never be happy, whether I was in a relationship or not.
My healing journey was difficult but worth every step along the way. And if I did it, you can too.
Emotionally abusive behavior comes from old, unhealthy beliefs and poorly developed coping mechanisms. When you feel the need to control or change someone else, it’s likely because you haven’t learned productive ways to express yourself or tell people what you want.
Learning better coping mechanisms is one of the components of healing. Once you learn to think differently, you’ll act differently.
For me, I always thought it would be easier to guilt those I love into giving me what I wanted instead of allowing them to be who they are. Once I learned healed from that behavior, everyone’s lives got easier.
For one, I no longer carried the burden of needing to control others. Secondly, they felt the freedom of being allowed to be themselves.
(Note: Supporting someone’s individuality is one of the keys to stopping emotionally abusive behavior. If that sounds difficult or impossible, that’s one of the reasons I created this program.)
If you have come to the realization that you are doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to change, join the Healed Being Program. It’s a transformational process that will help to free you of the burden of feeling the need to control or change others.
All the lessons come to you through email so all you have to do is sign up. As soon as you do, you’ll receive tools to help you start making changes right away.
The full Healed Being program comes with the lessons, a private, anonymous discussion group, and my answers to questions I receive from you and others like yourself (Q&As).
If you’re not really sure if you are emotionally abusive, I created this episode to help you figure it out. If after listening to the episode you think you may be doing emotionally abusive behavior and would like to stop doing that behavior, join the program by clicking the button below. The first four lessons are free with no obligation and no credit card required.
When you heal from being emotionally abusive, a lot changes in your life:
- You’ll feel lighter
- You’ll feel freer to be yourself
- You will no longer be constantly focused on what other people are doing
- You will stop driving yourself crazy wondering why people won’t live up to your standards
Emotional abuse ruins relationships and can leave emotional wounds for years. If you are hurtful toward the closest people in your life, and if you want to be happier and free of the pressure of wanting or needing to control those you love, take the journey.
You can do this. It’s a difficult path, but it’s worth every step.