I get quite a few messages from those who’ve learned that they are the emotionally abusive person in the relationship.
Fortunately, the only time I get messages from people like this is when they want to know how they can change. I never get messages telling me they know they are abusive and don’t care.
If you consider yourself an emotionally abusive person, first of all, pat yourself on the back for recognizing this in you, even if someone else had to tell you about it. After all, you are here reading this which means you are reflecting on your own behaviors.
I learned about my own abusive behavior very late in life and lost every relationship because of it. After my marriage ended, I knew something had to change or I would never be happy – whether I was in a relationship or not.
My healing journey was difficult but I did it and so can you. Abusive behavior comes from not knowing that there are other ways to get your needs met. When you feel the need to control or manipulate, it’s likely because you haven’t learned healthy ways to express yourself or tell people what you want.
For me, I always thought it would be easier to guilt those I love into giving me what I wanted instead of allowing them to be who they are. Once I learned how to heal from that behavior, everyone’s lives got easier. I no longer carried the burden of needing to control others and they felt the freedom of being allowed to be themselves.
If you have come to the realization that you are emotionally abusive and would like to change, join my email list over at healedbeing.com. When you sign up, you’ll receive tools to help you start making changes right away.
I am also currently working on an online program to help those who want to heal from doing hurtful behavior to the ones they love. When you sign up for the emails using the link above, you will also be notified when that program is complete. You are not required to purchase the program, but it will be available to you if you want to accelerate your healing.
If you’re not really sure if you are emotionally abusive, I created this episode to help you figure it out. If after listening to the episode you think you may be emotionally abusive and you’d like to change that behavior, add your email to the list I mention above.
When you heal from being emotionally abusive, a lot changes in your life. You feel lighter and freer to be yourself. You aren’t constantly worried about what other people are doing. And you aren’t driving yourself crazy wondering why people won’t live up to your standards.
Emotional abuse ruins relationships and can leave emotional wounds for years. If you are emotionally abusive toward the closest people in your life and if you want to be happier and free of the pressure of wanting or needing to control those you love, make the change.
You can do this. It’s a difficult journey, but it’s worth every step.