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Love and Abuse - Manipulation and Emotional Abuse in Relationships
Love and Abuse - Manipulation and Emotional Abuse in Relationships
  • M.E.A.N. Workbook
  • Podcast
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    • Contact
    • Newsletter – keep in touch!
    • For Anxiety
    • The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast
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Control

Never trust someone who wants to change who you are

  • July 22, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Relationships, Resentment, self-esteem, self-worth
An emotionally abusive relationship will change you. And the longer you’re in one, the more you will lose yourself in it. Getting back to who you were can be...
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The love of my life is the abuser in my life

  • July 10, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Codependency, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships, Shame, Trauma bond
Love can feel like a double-edged sword, cutting deep despite the tender moments. Or is that really love? Caring and kindness mixed with toxic, controlling behaviors create a dangerous...
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Can someone change even after they’ve done something terrible to you?

  • June 25, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Manipulation, Relationships
They did the worst thing imaginable, and now want you to stay in their life. Is it possible they can change? Should you give them a chance?
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You being the center of their attention is most of the problem

  • May 29, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Anger, Boundaries, Control, Emotional Abuse, Manipulation
What does it take for an abusive person to change? A whole lot (if they even want to change), but their consistent focus on you can make their healing...
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When someone wants to change who you are

  • May 20, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Boundaries, Control, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Manipulation, self-worth
The one-off difficulties in relationships are perfectly normal for everyone. We all have them. They’re not welcome, necessarily, but normal. But what happens when the “one-offs” become systemic? What...
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The empty threats that keep the abuse cycle alive

  • April 30, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Relationships, Vulnerability
When they threaten to leave or take something away from you, but they never follow through, expect them to repeat that behavior indefinitely. Empty threats are effective on those...
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When a relationship is not a relationship

  • April 16, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Arguments, Control, Crazymaking, Emotional Abuse, Relationships
“Everything’s great with me,” they say, as you sit there staring, confused, wondering what the hell you’re missing because you’re having a completely different experience as them. When is...
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Why abusive people need to maintain power and control over you

  • February 22, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Manipulation, Relationships
Some people just won’t stop being hurtful. Why won’t they stop? Are they just terrible people we have to accept and move on? Power and control is their M.O....
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A clever manipulation tactic that makes you believe you are the problem

  • March 2, 2024
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Arguments, Control, Crazymaking, deception, Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, lying, Manipulation
There’s a clever manipulation that can happen in some emotionally abusive relationships. It starts with superficial kindness and vague promises and leads to blameshifting and avoiding true accountability. This...
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Avoid getting trapped into an emotional prison from which you can’t escape

  • August 6, 2023
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Codependency, Control, Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, Relationships
The cycle of high ups and deep downs in a relationship is like being trapped in an emotional prison. There are moments of freedom and happiness, followed by a...
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