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Love and Abuse - Manipulation and Emotional Abuse in Relationships
Love and Abuse - Manipulation and Emotional Abuse in Relationships
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Blog

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Breaking the trauma bond can be hard as hell

  • October 23, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships, self-esteem, self-worth, Trauma bond
The trauma bond can be one of the most difficult “bonds” to break. If you find yourself obsessively attached to someone who hurts you, please read this article. Your...
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Can you heal from severe abuse while still in a severely abusive situation?

  • October 23, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Emotional Abuse, Healing, Jealousy, Physical Abuse, self-worth, Trauma bond
Some people will deflect blame and make you feel like you’re the problem, not them. In this article, I talk about a heart-wrenching story from a listener whose partner’s...
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Why you may not be ready to call it abuse when it is abuse

  • September 24, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships
The emotionally abusive relationship can sometimes be hard to define. How long must abusive behavior go on before one actually admits that what’s really happening is abuse? 
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Do you end the relationship because they won’t?

  • September 24, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships
How do you know when it’s time to instigate a split? If your partner’s behavior leaves you feeling oppressed and defeated, and they refuse to change, and they also...
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The language patterns of the abusive person

  • August 21, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships
The way someone talks about their relationship reveals a lot. Abuse victims and perpetrators each have their own language patterns. Knowing these language patterns will help you understand which...
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The breadcrumbing of relationships’ past

  • August 21, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • breadcrumbing, Codependency, Crazymaking, Dating, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, influence, Manipulation, Relationships
Breadcrumbing can be a manipulative way to keep someone in your mind so that you can’t fully move forward, keeping you as a pawn in another person’s game. In...
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Can you ever go back to who you were?

  • August 2, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Boundaries, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships
In abusive relationships, it might be difficult or even impossible to discern which parts of yourself are truly you and which are shaped by the abuse. What does it...
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Never trust someone who wants to change who you are

  • July 22, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Relationships, Resentment, self-esteem, self-worth
An emotionally abusive relationship will change you. And the longer you’re in one, the more you will lose yourself in it. Getting back to who you were can be...
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The love of my life is the abuser in my life

  • July 10, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Codependency, Control, Divorce, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Relationships, Shame, Trauma bond
Love can feel like a double-edged sword, cutting deep despite the tender moments. Or is that really love? Caring and kindness mixed with toxic, controlling behaviors create a dangerous...
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Can someone change even after they’ve done something terrible to you?

  • June 25, 2025
  • Paul Colaianni
  • Control, Emotional Abuse, Healing, Manipulation, Relationships
They did the worst thing imaginable, and now want you to stay in their life. Is it possible they can change? Should you give them a chance?
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