The Love and Abuse Podcast

The show about navigating the difficult relationship. From minor arguments to manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive behaviors.
Subscribe to Love and Abuse on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Click here to start on the first episode

The healed emotional abuser is more than just a behavioral change

I’ve seen emotionally abusive people heal and become completely different people. You wouldn’t even recognize them! And when you no longer recognize the

Search Episodes

AllAngerArgumentsBoundariesbreadcrumbingChildrenCodependencyControlCrazymakingCrueltyDatingdeceptionDivorceEmotional AbuseEnablingFamilyForgivenessGaslightingGift bombingGuiltHealingInfidelityinfluenceJealousyLove BombinglyingManipulationMinimizingNarcissismPhysical AbusePodcast EpisodeRelationshipsReligious AbuseResentmentself-esteemself-worthShameSocial MediaTrauma bondUncategorizedVulnerability"Navigating Complex Relationships"Abusers' Responsibility EvasionAddiction and Emotional Abuse"alone in the relationshipalways in fearAlways worried about divorceAm I an emotional abuser?Am I an emotionally abusive person?Am I being emotionally abusive?Am I being gaslighted?Am I the abusive one?Am I with a manipulative person?An analysis of emotional abuseAngry at Facebook friendsAre they lying about changing?are they lying again?Are they telling the truth?Are you being emotionally abused?Are you blaming yourselfAre you manipulative?Are you too incompatible with your partner?At what point is bad behavior in the relationship too much?away from friends and familybalance yourself in an unbalanced relationshipBefore the breakupblames me for the cheatingblaming yourselfBoundaries and self-worthbreadcrumb texting after a breakupbreadcrumbing is emotional abuseBreaking abusive cyclesBreaking down verbally abusive behaviorCan depression be used to manipulate you?Can I have an emotional affair when I'm in a bad marriage?Can the emotional abuser change?Can the emotionally abusive relationship heal?Can the relationship survive?Can you repair the relationship?Can't be happy alonechanged after cheatingChildhood trauma is no excuse for being abusivecoming back to the abuserconfusing you into complianceconfusing you into submissionConnecting all the dots of emotionally abusive behaviorconstantly stressed in relationshipcontrolling partnerdating married guyDealing with an alcoholic manipulatorDealing with emotional abuseDealing with the toxic relationshipdealing with their pastDealing with toxic behaviorDealing with unsupportive parentsdeception and lyingDepression as a tactic in emotional abuseDiscovering emotional abuseDo abusive people deserve a second chance?Do emotional abusers leave the relationship?Do you have to forgive the person that hurt you?does love bombing make up for bad behavior?Emotional abuse brings physical painemotional abuse destroys relationshipsEmotional abuse destroys your soulemotional abuse imprintingEmotional abuse in relationshipsEmotional abuse is an infectionEmotional abuse makes you believe terrible things about yourselfEmotional abuse recoveryEmotional Abuse SignsEmotional abuse strips you of your confidenceemotional abuse takes a physical toll on youEmotional abuse turns you into a shell of your former selfEmotional abuser healingEmotional manipulation exposedemotional predatorEmotionally abusive people can healEmotionally disconnected partnerEmpowerment through recognitionEmpowerment through validationEnabling Emotional Abuseendless arguingEverything I do is wrongEverything seems fine on the surface but deep down I’m unhappyExcessive apologies but continuing bad behaviorfear of an unhappy futureFeel so guilty about how I raised my childFeeling guilt all the timefeeling like you're stuck in the relationshipFeeling stuck with the emotional abuserFeeling trappedFill your own cupFinding inner strengthFocus on yourself after the breakupfooling you into feeling safeGaslightingGaslighting in my relationshipgetting clarity before divorceGetting lined up to make a big relationship decisionGetting trapped in the abusive relationshipGoing to their friends and family for supportGrooming for abuseHas the emotional abuser changed?He acts like nothing ever happened but it didHe says he feels bad but can he really changeHe says he loves me but then he leavesHealing after a breakupHealing after emotional abuseHealing after narcissistic abuseHealing Through Humilityhealing yourself from emotional abusehighly sensitive personHow can I convince my family and friends I'm being emotionally abused?How can I tell what's bad about the relationship?How come they abuse and don't leave?How do I know if I should give someone a second chance?How do I know if I'm abusive?How do I know if someone is acting badly?How do I know if they will become abusive?How do I know if we are compatible?How do I protect myself from emotional abuse?How do I respond to criticism?How do I stop emotional abuse?How do I tell them they are being abusive?How emotional abuse destroys relationshipsHow manipulators thinkHow the emotional abuser keeps you busy defending yourselfHow to deal with adversity in your relationshiphow to explain emotional abuse to othershow to explain narcissism to friends and familyHow to get them to stopHow to get your confidence and courage back after a toxic relationshipHow to know if I'm the emotional abuserHow to leave the abusive relationshipHow to live with an addictHow to make a decision about staying in a relationshipHow to pick the right therapistHow to stop being controllingHow to stop being emotionally abusivehow to stop emotional abuseHow to stop trying to manipulate your partnerHow to tell if you are being emotionally abusedHow would I know if I am being emotionally abused?How would I know if my partner is emotionally abusive?how you get into bad relationshipsHurt people can choose not to hurt peopleHurt people hurt people but…husband cheating on mehusband is emotionally abusiveI am always feel like I lose every argumentI am being yelled at in my relationshipI am exhausted from trying to make my relationship workI am never good enough for herI am never good enough for himI am not happy in my relationship but my partner isI can only take so much hurtful behaviorI can't go anywhere without them following meI can't trust my decisions anymoreI cannot describe the specific behaviors but I know something is wrongI cannot get away from the toxic behaviorI can’t figure out why he won’t let goI can’t shake the feeling of being obsessed with themI can’t stop wishing my partner would see how much I’m hurtingI do not know if I should stay or leaveI don't feel like I can do anything rightI don't know if it's time to leave the relationshipI don’t know how to forgive myself for leavingI don’t know what’s real and what’s because of the abuseI don’t know who I am anymoreI feel anxious and drained after every conversation with my partnerI feel completely drainedI feel controlled and it’s exhaustingI feel crazy trying to explain what is happening in my relationshipI feel guilty for choosing myselfI feel like a shell of my former selfI feel like I am losing my mind in this relationshipI feel like I am not being listened toI feel like I've lost my passion for lifeI feel like I’m always the problemI feel like I’m always waiting for the next good momentI feel like I’m losing myselfI feel like I’m losing myself in this relationshipI feel like I’m supporting my abuser instead of healing myselfI feel like I’m the problem in my relationshipI feel powerless in my relationship and don’t know how to change itI feel powerless with my partnerI feel so exposed and can’t get past itI feel so guilty for wanting to leaveI feel stuck but I’m not sure if I amI feel stuck hoping things will change but they never doI feel stuck waiting for them to be differentI feel trapped in endless conversations that aren’t really conversationsI hope things will get better but they never doI hurt people I loved and need to understand real changeI just want them to suffer after all they did to meI just want to be heard but my voice gets lostI keep changing but it’s never enoughI keep defending myselfI keep hoping they will changeI lost myself in the relationshipI lost myself in this relationshipI lost myself in this relationship and need to find me againI love them but they hurt meI never win an argument with my partnerI share custody with someone who makes my life miserableI think about leaving but I’m scaredI threaten divorce during fights but do not mean itI told them to stop emotionally abusing mei tried to make my spouse happyI try hard to please my partner but they are never happyI used to be happy before I got into this relationshipI used to feel happy and now I don’tI want my partner to changeI want them to hurt now that they've stopped hurting meI want to break up but they don'tI want to divorce but they won't leaveI want to make them happy but nothing I do is ever enoughI was emotionally abusive and want to know if I can truly changeI worry about what my ex says to our child when I am not thereI'm afraid of getting a divorceI'm afraid to leave my relationshipI'm too scared to leave my partneringratiating deflectionIs an emotional affair okay?Is it my fault they are hurting me?Is it my fault they're hurting me?Is it okay to cheat on the abuser?Is it possible to tell emotional abuse before it starts?Is it safe to share educational content on emotional abuse?Is it too late to leave the abuser?Is it unhealthy to love the abuser?Is the silent treatment emotional abuse?isolation in emotional abuseIt feels like I’m always the one trying to fix everythingI’m afraid to leave but I’m not happy hereI’m constantly questioning if I’m the abusive oneI’m making decisions out of fearI’m not happy but I still hope they’ll changeI’m stuck in a cycle of ups and downsI’m tired of being blamed for everythingI’m tired of feeling insignificant in my own relationshipI’m trying to heal but I’m still angryI’m unhappy but my partner thinks things are greatI’m waiting for a miracle that may never comeI’m walking on eggshells and it hurtsI’m working so hard on this relationship but nothing changesJudgement destroys relationshipsjudging your partnerKeep crawling back to the exkids of the narcissistic parentlearning to survive and thrive from verbal abuseLetting them back inLoving abusive peopleLoving the abusive partnerMaking me feel ashamedMaking me feel guiltymanipulative behavior while datingmanipulator talks endlesslyMy ex is nice one day and cruel the nextMy ex keeps messaging me but I don’t want to respondMy family thinks I'm the emotional abuserMy feelings are not being validatedMy issues do not sound that bad when I tell people but I feel awful insideMy partner always blames me for everythingMy partner apologized but it doesn’t feel genuineMy partner dismisses my emotions and I feel worn downMy partner doesn’t see how much they hurt meMy partner is an addict and hurts meMy partner is being emotionally abusiveMy partner is emotionally needyMy partner makes me feel like I’m the problemMy partner only listens when I threaten to leaveMy partner says everything is fine but it’s notMy partner says they have changed but I do not know if I believe themMy partner says they’re changing but it doesn’t feel rightMy partner says they’ve changed but it doesn’t lastMy partner tells me who I should beMy partner thinks everything is fine but I don’tMy partner threatens to leave but never doesMy partner’s behavior doesn’t match the love they showMy partner’s words drain me but I don’t know how to make them stopMy relationship doesn’t feel lovingMy relationship doesn’t feel loving anymoreMy relationship feels like a rollercoasterMy relationship feels toxic but I can’t leaveMy relationship was great until the psychological abusemy spouse cheated on me and blamed menarcissistic abuse eats away at youNavigating emotional abusenever do anything rightnever good enoughnew relationship warning signsno matter how nice i amno one sees what I see about themNothing I do is good enoughOne-Sided Relationshipoverly emotionalPath to healthy relationshipsPath to RecoveryPeople think my partner is nice but they're notpretending in the relationshippublic humiliationreacting to facebook postsReactive abuseReciprocity MattersRecognizing emotional abuseReconnecting with yourself after emotional abusered flagsRegaining self-identityRelationship boundaries with their parentsReligious abuseResponding to emotionally abusive spouseReturning to the relationshipSays nice things but I still feel awfulSeeking freedom assertivelysees me suffer but still hurts meselfish people don't care about youselfish people take your powershamingSharing custody with the narcissistShould I leave again?Should I leave my relationship once and for all?Should I leave my relationship?Should I leave the emotionally abusive person?Should I share what I learned about emotional abuse with my partner?Should I stay in an emotionally abusive relationship?Should I stay or leave the relationship?Should I stay with them even though they treat me badly?Should I talk about divorce when we are calm or during the argumentShould I tell my partner I'm leaving?Should I tell the abuser I'm leaving?sneaky emotional abusesomeone stealing my powerStop hurting those you lovestuck with a controlling partnerStuck with the emotional abuser foreversuicidesuspect my spouseTaking a breakTaking a break in the relationshipThe abuse continues after the relationship endedThe breaking pointThe psychologically abusive relationshipThe silent treatmentThe smear campaign in emotionally abusive relationshipsThe thought process behind manipulationThe transition from happy to abusedThey apologized but their behavior feels the sameThey are always irritated with meThey are never happyThey are so clingy and I have no me timeThey are so hurtful because of their addictionThey can ruin happinessThey convince me to stay in the relationshipThey do not care if I am hurt or upsetThey keep hurting me the same wayThey leave and get into another relationship fastThey say they love me but I don’t feel acceptedThey say they love me but I feel hurtThey will not stop even though we are separatedThey're always frustrated when we talkthreaten to kill themselvesToo many attachments to leavetoo sensitiveToo vulnerable to be realTransforming abusive behaviorTrauma bondTrauma bond challengestrauma bondingtraumatic bondingtry harder and harderturning facts into liesUnreciprocated KindnessUsing religion to control youwants to control everything i dowarning signs of emotional abuse while datingWe broke up and now I feel guiltywearing you down with lectureWhat am I doing wrong in my relationship?What are the signs of emotional abuse when dating?What are the signs of emotional abuse?What did I do wrong?What happens if they don't stop being abusive?What if I don't know which decision is best?What if my partner is manipulative?What if they won't stop emotionally abusing me?What is acceptable behavior and what is not?What is breadcrumbing?What is crazymaking?What is emotional abuse?What is gaslighting?What is reactive abuse?What makes a couple compatible with each other?What should I do if my ex won't stop stalking me?What will people say when I divorce?What you will and won't acceptWhen boundaries don't workWhen is the right time to leave an abusive person?When people use their depression to make you feel badWhen social media makes you angryWhen someone tries to make you feel badWhen someone uses your beliefs against youWhen the abuser apologizesWhen the emotional abuser stops abusingwhen they blame their traumaWhen they stop hurting youWhen will they stop drinking?When you want your ex to stay awaywhen you're dependent on the abuserWhen you're constantly defending yourselfWhen your heart closesWhich one of us is the emotional abuser?Who are you when the emotional abuse stops?Who you become in the abusive relationshipWhose fault is the cheating?Why are they so defensive?Why can't they just treat me nice?Why do I feel so guilty for leaving my partner?Why do I have to constantly explain myself?Why do you have to forgive others?Why does he still try to keep me in his life?Why does my partner continue to emotionally abuse me?Why don't abusive people leave the relationship?Why is my partner so hurtful toward me?Why won't they leave?Why won't they stop hurting me?why you keep getting into abusive relationshipswife is emotionally abusiveWill I ever be able to return to an emotionally abusive person?Will there be love again after emotional abuse?Will they stop hurting me?Won't stop hurting meWorking with personal boundaries in the emotionally abusive relationshipYears of emotional abuse and now I want them to suffer

Clear Search

Episode play icon

The healed emotional abuser is more than just a behavioral change

I’ve seen emotionally abusive people heal and become completely different people. You wouldn’t even recognize them! And when you no longer recognize the […]

March 19, 2026

Episode play icon

Do we talk about divorce during the argument or the calm period

When you’ve decided to leave the emotionally abusive relationship, when is divorce put on the table for discussion? Should you bring it up […]

March 19, 2026

Episode play icon

Do I accept that this is how theyll be forever

Some behaviors are unacceptable. Some people are unacceptable. But what should you accept and what should you do when you can’t accept? Emotional […]

February 11, 2026

Episode play icon

When its impossible to get away from all the toxic behavior

Some relationships end, but continue leaving destruction in their wake. Some don’t end, and you suffer through the daily drip-feeding of emotionally abusive […]

February 2, 2026

Episode play icon

Dont call them what they really are, it will work against you

Calling a duck a duck makes sense. But this logic works against you in an emotionally abusive relationship. Calling out an abusive person […]

January 15, 2026

Episode play icon

Total defeat and burnout in the emotionally abusive relationship

Every relationship should have stopping points when you feel yourself slipping away. Emotional abuse operates as a slow drip-feeding of toxic behaviors that […]

January 10, 2026

Episode play icon

When you are a captive audience to the emotionally abusive monologuer

The endless monologue of some emotionally abusive people is a tactic that keeps you silent and submissive. It’s designed to wear you down […]

December 30, 2025

Episode play icon

Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you’re the abuser

The emotionally abusive relationship is confusing and draining. If you don’t get a grip on what’s going on, you may start to believe […]

December 22, 2025

Episode play icon

Ive stopped being abusive, let’s have sex

Some emotionally abusive people do heal. And once they do, they might feel the relationship will be great from that point on. What […]

December 4, 2025

Episode play icon

The feelings of guilt and shame after leaving the abusive person

If you’ve ever questioned how to forgive yourself for choosing your own well-being over an abusive partner, you’re not alone. Victims of abusive […]

November 17, 2025

Episode play icon

Breaking the trauma bond can be hard as hell

The trauma bond can be one of the most difficult “bonds” to break. If you find yourself obsessively attached to someone who hurts […]

October 23, 2025

Episode play icon

Can you heal from severe abuse while still in a severely abusive situation?

Some people will deflect blame and make you feel like you’re the problem, not them. In this article, I talk about a heart-wrenching […]

October 23, 2025

Episode play icon

Why you may not be ready to call it abuse when it is abuse

The emotionally abusive relationship can sometimes be hard to define. How long must abusive behavior go on before one actually admits that what’s […]

September 24, 2025

Episode play icon

Do you end the relationship because they won’t?

How do you know when it’s time to instigate a split? If your partner’s behavior leaves you feeling oppressed and defeated, and they […]

September 24, 2025

Episode play icon

The language patterns of the abusive person

The way someone talks about their relationship reveals a lot. Abuse victims and perpetrators each have their own language patterns. Knowing these language […]

August 21, 2025

Load More

Search Results placeholder

Previous Episode

Show Episodes List

Next Episode

The podcasts, books, and workbook have been so helpful in my healing process. I am still learning from, working with them and share at every appropriate opportunity… I can live a life now.”
-J.L.

*All content on this site and in the podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of a medical or psychological professional before making any changes that could affect your physical or mental health.