The Love and Abuse Podcast

The show about navigating the difficult relationship. From minor arguments to manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive behaviors.
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Can someone change even after they’ve done something terrible to you?

They did the worst thing imaginable and now want you to stay in their life. Is it possible they can change? Should you

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AllAngerArgumentsBoundariesbreadcrumbingChildrenCodependencyControlCrazymakingCrueltyDatingdeceptionDivorceEmotional AbuseEnablingFamilyForgivenessGaslightingGift bombingGuiltHealingInfidelityinfluenceJealousyLove BombinglyingManipulationMinimizingNarcissismPhysical AbuseRelationshipsReligious AbuseResentmentself-esteemself-worthShameSocial MediaUncategorizedVulnerabilityAbusers' Responsibility EvasionAddiction and Emotional Abusealone in the relationshipalways in fearAlways worried about divorceAm I an emotional abuser?Am I an emotionally abusive person?Am I being emotionally abusive?Am I being gaslighted?Am I the abusive one?Am I with a manipulative person?An analysis of emotional abuseAngry at Facebook friendsAre they lying about changing?are they lying again?Are they telling the truth?Are you being emotionally abused?Are you blaming yourselfAre you manipulative?Are you too incompatible with your partner?At what point is bad behavior in the relationship too much?away from friends and familybalance yourself in an unbalanced relationshipBefore the breakupblames me for the cheatingblaming yourselfBoundaries and self-worthbreadcrumb texting after a breakupbreadcrumbing is emotional abuseBreaking abusive cyclesBreaking down verbally abusive behaviorCan depression be used to manipulate you?Can I have an emotional affair when I'm in a bad marriage?Can the emotional abuser change?Can the emotionally abusive relationship heal?Can the relationship survive?Can you repair the relationship?Can't be happy alonechanged after cheatingChildhood trauma is no excuse for being abusivecoming back to the abuserconfusing you into complianceconfusing you into submissionConnecting all the dots of emotionally abusive behaviorconstantly stressed in relationshipcontrolling partnerdating married guyDealing with an alcoholic manipulatorDealing with emotional abuseDealing with the toxic relationshipdealing with their pastDealing with toxic behaviorDealing with unsupportive parentsdeception and lyingDepression as a tactic in emotional abuseDiscovering emotional abuseDo abusive people deserve a second chance?Do emotional abusers leave the relationship?Do you have to forgive the person that hurt you?does love bombing make up for bad behavior?Emotional abuse brings physical painemotional abuse destroys relationshipsEmotional abuse destroys your soulemotional abuse imprintingEmotional abuse in relationshipsEmotional abuse is an infectionEmotional abuse makes you believe terrible things about yourselfEmotional abuse recoveryEmotional Abuse SignsEmotional abuse strips you of your confidenceemotional abuse takes a physical toll on youEmotional abuse turns you into a shell of your former selfEmotional abuser healingEmotional manipulation exposedemotional predatorEmotionally abusive people can healEmotionally disconnected partnerEmpowerment through recognitionEmpowerment through validationEnabling Emotional Abuseendless arguingEverything I do is wrongExcessive apologies but continuing bad behaviorfear of an unhappy futureFeel so guilty about how I raised my childFeeling guilt all the timefeeling like you're stuck in the relationshipFeeling stuck with the emotional abuserFeeling trappedFill your own cupFinding inner strengthFocus on yourself after the breakupfooling you into feeling safeGaslightingGaslighting in my relationshipgetting clarity before divorceGetting lined up to make a big relationship decisionGetting trapped in the abusive relationshipGoing to their friends and family for supportGrooming for abuseHas the emotional abuser changed?He says he feels bad but can he really changeHe says he loves me but then he leavesHealing after a breakupHealing after emotional abuseHealing after narcissistic abuseHealing Through Humilityhealing yourself from emotional abusehighly sensitive personHow can I convince my family and friends I'm being emotionally abused?How can I tell what's bad about the relationship?How come they abuse and don't leave?How do I know if I should give someone a second chance?How do I know if I'm abusive?How do I know if someone is acting badly?How do I know if they will become abusive?How do I know if we are compatible?How do I protect myself from emotional abuse?How do I respond to criticism?How do I stop emotional abuse?How do I tell them they are being abusive?How emotional abuse destroys relationshipsHow manipulators thinkHow the emotional abuser keeps you busy defending yourselfHow to deal with adversity in your relationshiphow to explain emotional abuse to othershow to explain narcissism to friends and familyHow to get them to stopHow to get your confidence and courage back after a toxic relationshipHow to know if I'm the emotional abuserHow to leave the abusive relationshipHow to live with an addictHow to make a decision about staying in a relationshipHow to pick the right therapistHow to stop being controllingHow to stop being emotionally abusivehow to stop emotional abuseHow to stop trying to manipulate your partnerHow to tell if you are being emotionally abusedHow would I know if I am being emotionally abused?How would I know if my partner is emotionally abusive?how you get into bad relationshipsHurt people can choose not to hurt peopleHurt people hurt people but…husband cheating on mehusband is emotionally abusiveI am always feel like I lose every argumentI am never good enough for herI am never good enough for himI can only take so much hurtful behaviorI can't go anywhere without them following meI can't trust my decisions anymoreI don't feel like I can do anything rightI don't know if it's time to leave the relationshipI feel controlled and it’s exhaustingI feel like I am not being listened toI feel like I've lost my passion for lifeI feel like I’m losing myself in this relationshipI feel like I’m supporting my abuser instead of healing myselfI feel like I’m the problem in my relationshipI feel powerless with my partnerI feel so exposed and can’t get past itI feel so guilty for wanting to leaveI feel stuck but I’m not sure if I amI just want them to suffer after all they did to meI lost myself in the relationshipI lost myself in this relationship and need to find me againI never win an argument with my partnerI think about leaving but I’m scaredI told them to stop emotionally abusing mei tried to make my spouse happyI try hard to please my partner but they are never happyI used to be happy before I got into this relationshipI want my partner to changeI want them to hurt now that they've stopped hurting meI want to break up but they don'tI want to divorce but they won't leaveI'm afraid of getting a divorceI'm afraid to leave my relationshipI'm too scared to leave my partneringratiating deflectionIs an emotional affair okay?Is it my fault they are hurting me?Is it my fault they're hurting me?Is it okay to cheat on the abuser?Is it possible to tell emotional abuse before it starts?Is it safe to share educational content on emotional abuse?Is it too late to leave the abuser?Is it unhealthy to love the abuser?Is the silent treatment emotional abuse?isolation in emotional abuseI’m afraid to leave but I’m not happy hereI’m trying to heal but I’m still angryI’m unhappy but my partner thinks things are greatI’m walking on eggshells and it hurtsJudgement destroys relationshipsjudging your partnerKeep crawling back to the exkids of the narcissistic parentlearning to survive and thrive from verbal abuseLetting them back inLoving abusive peopleLoving the abusive partnerMaking me feel ashamedMaking me feel guiltymanipulative behavior while datingmanipulator talks endlesslyMy family thinks I'm the emotional abuserMy feelings are not being validatedMy partner apologized but it doesn’t feel genuineMy partner doesn’t see how much they hurt meMy partner is an addict and hurts meMy partner is being emotionally abusiveMy partner is emotionally needyMy partner says everything is fine but it’s notMy partner says they’re changing but it doesn’t feel rightMy partner threatens to leave but never doesMy relationship doesn’t feel lovingMy relationship doesn’t feel loving anymoreMy relationship was great until the psychological abusemy spouse cheated on me and blamed menarcissistic abuse eats away at youNavigating Complex RelationshipsNavigating emotional abusenever do anything rightnever good enoughnew relationship warning signsno matter how nice i amno one sees what I see about themNothing I do is good enoughOne-Sided Relationshipoverly emotionalPath to healthy relationshipsPath to RecoveryPeople think my partner is nice but they're notpretending in the relationshippublic humiliationreacting to facebook postsReactive abuseReciprocity MattersRecognizing emotional abuseReconnecting with yourself after emotional abusered flagsRegaining self-identityRelationship boundaries with their parentsReligious abuseResponding to emotionally abusive spouseReturning to the relationshipSays nice things but I still feel awfulSeeking freedom assertivelysees me suffer but still hurts meselfish people don't care about youselfish people take your powershamingSharing custody with the narcissistShould I leave again?Should I leave my relationship once and for all?Should I leave my relationship?Should I leave the emotionally abusive person?Should I share what I learned about emotional abuse with my partner?Should I stay in an emotionally abusive relationship?Should I stay or leave the relationship?Should I stay with them even though they treat me badly?Should I tell my partner I'm leaving?Should I tell the abuser I'm leaving?sneaky emotional abusesomeone stealing my powerStop hurting those you lovestuck with a controlling partnerStuck with the emotional abuser foreversuicidesuspect my spouseTaking a breakTaking a break in the relationshipThe breaking pointThe psychologically abusive relationshipThe silent treatmentThe smear campaign in emotionally abusive relationshipsThe thought process behind manipulationThe transition from happy to abusedThey are always irritated with meThey are never happyThey are so clingy and I have no me timeThey are so hurtful because of their addictionThey can ruin happinessThey convince me to stay in the relationshipThey do not care if I am hurt or upsetThey leave and get into another relationship fastThey're always frustrated when we talkthreaten to kill themselvesToo many attachments to leavetoo sensitiveToo vulnerable to be realTransforming abusive behaviorTrauma bondTrauma bond challengestrauma bondingtraumatic bondingtry harder and harderturning facts into liesUnreciprocated KindnessUsing religion to control youwants to control everything i dowarning signs of emotional abuse while datingWe broke up and now I feel guiltywearing you down with lectureWhat am I doing wrong in my relationship?What are the signs of emotional abuse when dating?What are the signs of emotional abuse?What did I do wrong?What happens if they don't stop being abusive?What if I don't know which decision is best?What if my partner is manipulative?What if they won't stop emotionally abusing me?What is acceptable behavior and what is not?What is breadcrumbing?What is crazymaking?What is emotional abuse?What is gaslighting?What is reactive abuse?What makes a couple compatible with each other?What should I do if my ex won't stop stalking me?What will people say when I divorce?What you will and won't acceptWhen boundaries don't workWhen is the right time to leave an abusive person?When people use their depression to make you feel badWhen social media makes you angryWhen someone tries to make you feel badWhen someone uses your beliefs against youWhen the abuser apologizesWhen the emotional abuser stops abusingwhen they blame their traumaWhen they stop hurting youWhen will they stop drinking?When you want your ex to stay awaywhen you're dependent on the abuserWhen you're constantly defending yourselfWhen your heart closesWhich one of us is the emotional abuser?Who are you when the emotional abuse stops?Who you become in the abusive relationshipWhose fault is the cheating?Why are they so defensive?Why can't they just treat me nice?Why do I feel so guilty for leaving my partner?Why do I have to constantly explain myself?Why do you have to forgive others?Why does my partner continue to emotionally abuse me?Why don't abusive people leave the relationship?Why is my partner so hurtful toward me?Why won't they leave?Why won't they stop hurting me?why you keep getting into abusive relationshipswife is emotionally abusiveWill I ever be able to return to an emotionally abusive person?Will there be love again after emotional abuse?Will they stop hurting me?Won't stop hurting meWorking with personal boundaries in the emotionally abusive relationshipYears of emotional abuse and now I want them to suffer

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Can someone change even after they’ve done something terrible to you?

They did the worst thing imaginable and now want you to stay in their life. Is it possible they can change? Should you […]

June 25, 2025

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You being the center of their attention is most of the problem

What does it take for an abusive person to change? A whole lot (if they even want to change), but their consistent focus […]

May 29, 2025

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Trying to figure out who the emotionally abusive person really is in the relationship

What happens when the victim of emotional abuse gets convinced they are the abuser? It shouldn’t be difficult: The hurtful one is the […]

May 22, 2025

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When someone wants to change who you are

The one-off difficulties in relationships are perfectly normal for everyone. We all have them. They’re not welcome, necessarily, but normal. But what happens […]

May 20, 2025

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The empty threats that keep the abuse cycle alive

When they threaten to leave or take something away from you, but they never follow through, expect them to repeat that behavior indefinitely. […]

April 30, 2025

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When a relationship is not a relationship

“Everything’s great with me,” they say, as you sit there staring, confused, wondering what the hell you’re missing because you’re having a completely […]

April 16, 2025

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Don’t lock yourself into a worse situation

When you get into an emotionally abusive relationship, you have no idea what you’re walking into. When you figure it out, you might […]

March 13, 2025

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Why abusive people need to maintain power and control over you

Some people just won’t stop being hurtful. Why won’t they stop? Are they just terrible people we have to accept and move on? […]

February 22, 2025

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Those who hurt you have poor coping skills so give them a break… right?

Hurt people hurt people, so we should have compassion when they hurt us, right? You know the answer, and I know the answer. […]

February 21, 2025

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The gradual shift from who you were to who you became in the emotionally abusive relationship

The person you were before the difficult relationship almost always looks and feels different than the person you became while in the difficult relationship. Losing […]

January 31, 2025

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The growing resentment that can build when their hurtful behaviors never end

When someone keeps hurting you, you might blame yourself and think if you were only better, they’d stop. But as their hurtful behavior […]

January 22, 2025

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Are you the reason someone is hurtful to you?

What is the cause of mistreatment in a relationship? Do you think it’s possible you are the reason someone is hurting you or […]

December 13, 2024

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When someone destroys what makes you happy

What do you do when someone shatters something that brought you joy? It’s important to know your limits in relationships and recognizing when […]

November 27, 2024

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What makes taking a break from the relationship work?

Is there a path out of being stuck in the whirlwind of a toxic relationship? Maybe taking a step back and out of […]

November 12, 2024

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When you can barely take care of yourself let alone give them what they want

What if you’re doing all you can to maintain your own health and well-being, but you have someone in your life who is […]

October 17, 2024

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When they shower you with love after they’ve done bad behavior

How can you tell if your partner’s affection is genuine or a manipulation tactic? What if they apologize every time they hurt you… […]

August 23, 2024

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When you decide enough is enough – the first step isn’t the last

The victim of abusive behavior will eventually reach their breaking point. In that moment, they finally feel like they can take their life […]

August 6, 2024

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What change really looks like when the emotional abuser heals

The healed former emotional abuser looks a lot different than the person they used to be. If you’ve ever accepted a hurtful person […]

June 9, 2024

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Feeling discarded when they leave the relationship

Why does it seem so easy for some people to leave a relationship, get into another one, and act as if the one […]

May 23, 2024

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When the emotional abuser reaches back out after they’ve healed and changed

When the emotional abuser apologizes to the person they’ve hurt and tries to make amends, especially after they’ve done a lot of personal […]

May 17, 2024

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Time with yourself is not only necessary, its required

You give, you adapt, and you change who you are almost to your very core… to what end? When you are overly compassionate […]

April 22, 2024

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Emotionally abusive behavior is also physically painful

Victims of emotional abuse can experience physical pain from all the trauma, potentially leading to increased tolerance and resilience to harm. They can […]

March 28, 2024

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When the good you do for them leads nowhere

Some emotionally abusive people don’t change, no matter how much the victim of their hurtful behavior changes for them. Is there ever a […]

March 28, 2024

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A clever manipulation tactic that makes you believe you are the problem

There’s a clever manipulation that can happen in some emotionally abusive relationships. It starts with superficial kindness and vague promises and leads to […]

March 2, 2024

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When you think you’re strong enough to get back into the difficult relationship

When you reach your breaking point with someone, you might make the decision to leave. During that time, you can regain your confidence […]

February 28, 2024

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How emotional abuse can enter your life like an infection

Emotional abuse can be like an infection that enters your body. You may not know it’s there until a lot of time has […]

February 14, 2024

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If you don’t know your limits, you wont have any

It can be hard to draw a line in a toxic relationship. Don’t make your emotional resilience a prison of your own making. […]

January 14, 2024

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When they go silent and emotionally disconnect from you

When the emotionally abusive person goes silent in order to make you feel guilty and give them the attention they want, do they […]

December 6, 2023

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Should you give in to their perception of you?

The core principle of everything I teach hinges on the importance of self-respect. I believe self-respect is the most crucial form of nurturing […]

November 23, 2023

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Their past trauma and abuse isn’t the immediate issue in the relationship

The emotionally abusive person can have a traumatic past. Their abusive behaviors can have an abusive origin. Is it better to help the […]

November 6, 2023

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How do you know when your heart is sealed?

In this article, I’m going to help you recognize the signs that indicate a relationship may be beyond repair. There comes a point […]

November 3, 2023

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Is taking a break before breaking up the final blow to the relationship?

The thought of breaking up or separating from a toxic person can be a difficult decision to make. But taking a break before […]

October 13, 2023

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How you describe the challenges in your relationship to others can reveal if you’re being emotionally abused

The language you use to describe your relationship and how you’re getting along with the other person says a lot. If you’ve ever […]

September 7, 2023

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Should you make a list of everything they’re doing wrong and hand it to them?

If you are with someone who does hurtful things, would it help to write them a loving, supportive letter outlining all the ways […]

September 7, 2023

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Avoid getting trapped into an emotional prison from which you can’t escape

The cycle of high ups and deep downs in a relationship is like being trapped in an emotional prison. There are moments of […]

August 6, 2023

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What are the chances of an emotional abuser healing and the relationship surviving?

I recently received a message from someone who started the journey to healing from their emotionally abusive behaviors. They said they are currently […]

July 28, 2023

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Why they don’t stop hurting you when they see you hurting

Why do people who claim to care about us hurt us when they see that we’re suffering? Shouldn’t our suffering be enough for […]

July 1, 2023

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When parents get involved in your difficult relationship

Dealing with a hurtful person is often hard enough. When your partner has hurtful parents, however, it gets even harder, especially when you […]

May 5, 2023

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Religious Abuse: When they use your beliefs and faith against you

Your religious or spiritual beliefs are supposed to help uplift and inspire you, not make you feel oppressed and exhausted. Religious abuse happens […]

March 31, 2023

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When they believe they've changed

I get messages from those who are with someone who claims to have changed, but something doesn’t feel right to them. What they […]

February 17, 2023

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The huge wall the emotional abuser puts up

Why can’t they just change? Why don’t they just stop hurting you? Sometimes they’ve built such a huge wall of protection around themselves […]

January 29, 2023

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The battles that drain your power

The emotionally abusive relationship can be a battle. In fact, it can be a series of battles that wear you down and eventually […]

December 23, 2022

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What will it take to finally get them to stop?

The person that hurts the one they love can do the behavior indefinitely unless someone is there to stop it. Usually, that someone […]

December 7, 2022

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When you find yourself crawling back to them over and over again

Why do we return to toxic people over and over again? It’s certainly not because we love to suffer. But maybe there’s more […]

August 5, 2022

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Bonding with people who traumatize you

Becoming dependent on someone can put you at their mercy sometimes. And if they are toxic, you are not only now dependent on […]

July 5, 2022

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Can depression be used for manipulation?

There can be some good excuses for hurtful behavior. With some excuses, it can be hard to differentiate between fact and fiction.  When […]

April 20, 2022

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The abuser that sneaks their way into your heart and life in order to lock you in to a controlling relationship

Some abusive people know exactly how to lock you into the relationship so tight that you find it near impossible to get out […]

March 10, 2022

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Can you find yourself after they stop the hurtful behavior?

Sometimes the emotional abuse stops. If and when it does, will you know who you are? Do you know where you went? Sometimes […]

March 2, 2022

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Healthy Responses to their Frustrations and Annoyances

How can you respond or react in the most concise, clear and healthy way so that their annoyance or frustration with you doesn’t […]

February 6, 2022

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The thoughts and beliefs that allow toxic behavior to seep into your relationship

You are not to blame for getting into a toxic relationship. It is not your fault. However, there is a way you process […]

January 24, 2022

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The podcasts, books, and workbook have been so helpful in my healing process. I am still learning from, working with them and share at every appropriate opportunity… I can live a life now.”

J.L.

*All content on this site and in the podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of a medical or psychological professional before making any changes that could affect your physical or mental health.