When you share something that matters to you and the response is a dismissive shrug or a comment that makes it seem trivial, you start to question if you’re overreacting.
You might hear things like “You’re being too sensitive” or “It’s not that serious” or “Why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?” These responses chip away at your confidence in your own feelings and experiences.
The problem isn’t that you’re overreacting. The problem is that someone is teaching you that what you care about doesn’t matter. When this happens repeatedly, you begin to believe that your thoughts, feelings, and experiences aren’t valid. You start to shrink yourself. You stop sharing what’s important to you because you’ve learned it will be dismissed anyway.
This is a form of invalidation that keeps you small and keeps them in control.
When your concerns are minimized, you’re less likely to bring them up again.
When your accomplishments are downplayed, you stop celebrating your wins.
When your feelings are treated as insignificant, you start to doubt whether you have a right to feel anything at all.
Pay attention to what happens when you express something meaningful:
Do they listen and acknowledge what you’re saying, or do they find a way to make it seem unimportant?
Do they compare your experience to something worse to prove you shouldn’t feel the way you do?
Do they change the subject or act annoyed that you brought it up?
Someone who cares about you will care about what matters to you, even if they don’t fully understand it. They won’t need to agree with everything you say, but they will respect that it’s important to you. They won’t make you feel foolish for having feelings or for wanting to share something that brought you joy or caused you pain.
When everything you say gets minimized, you lose touch with your own internal compass. You stop trusting yourself. You second-guess every thought and feeling because you’ve been conditioned to believe they’re not valid unless someone else approves them.
Your feelings are real. Your experiences matter. What’s important to you deserves to be treated as important, not brushed aside like it’s nothing. If you’re constantly being told that what you care about is no big deal, that’s not a reflection of you being “too sensitive,” that’s a reflection of someone who doesn’t want to honor what matters to you.
Suggested listening: The “You’re Too Sensitive” Game.
This article is for educational purposes. Pick your battles wisely and use The M.E.A.N. Workbook to assess your relationship.
