Some people become highly defensive or offensive when they want to hide something from you, or lie to you, or don’t want to be vulnerable with you, because it’s too scary for them.
No matter the reason, their behavior has a purpose and it’s usually to divert your attention so that they don’t have to reveal something that might make them feel out of control.
![]() | Paul Colaianni Paul Colaianni is a Behavior and Relationship Specialist with experience analyzing complex relationship dynamics since 2010. As the creator of the Healed Being program and host of the top-rated Love and Abuse and The Overwhelmed Brain podcasts, with over 21 million downloads worldwide, he specializes in the mechanics of behavioral change and the identification of hidden manipulation. |



