M.E.A.N. stands for Manipulation and Emotional Abuse Number. It is based on how many boxes you check in the assessment portion of The M.E.A.N. Workbook.

The assessment helps you start your journey as it specifically determines the level of emotional abuse, control, and/or manipulation you may be experiencing in your relationship. After you check every box that applies to your situation, you will be provided an evaluation based on that score. Once you read through your evaluation, you’ll have a solid understanding of the behaviors that are causing the relationship to be so difficult.

Below is a small snippet of the assessment to give you an idea of what you’ll see:

Once you check off all the relevant boxes in the full assessment, you’ll be given a score and an evaluation based on that score. The above is a very tiny portion of the 200-point assessment, but it helps you picture some of what you’ll be reflecting on as you go through the workbook.

You will use the evaluation of your M.E.A.N. score with the rest of the workbook to help you understand exactly what you’re dealing with, what your options are, and what is likely to happen next. Suffice to say, the higher the score, the more complex and difficult the relationship is, and the more guidance you may need to take your next steps.

Next steps don’t always mean leaving.

Sometimes leaving is necessary, but sometimes there are other ways of working and healing through what is happening. In the workbook, I help you go over all your options.

The assessment can be extremely enlightening and validating. At the same time, it might alarm you as you discover behaviors, both theirs and your own, that you may not have noticed before. But the workbook is not meant to be alarming. It’s meant to educate and help you pinpoint exactly where the problem areas of your relationship are. Knowing the specific issues you’re dealing with helps you put them on the table to be discussed.

Even if a discussion with the other person seems impossible, you’ll still be able to reach clarity and finally put into words what you’ve been going through. At a minimum, you’ll feel validated, understood, and saner than you have for a long time.

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